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Is your perfectionism causing you anxiety, stress, and worry?
If you identify as a perfectionist, you may not see your perfectionism as a problem. But striving for unrealistic standards, basing your self-worth on meeting those standards, and engaging in persistent self-criticism will ultimately lead to anxiety, stress, worry, burnout, and unhappiness. So, how can you distinguish between “helpful” and “hurtful” perfectionism and stop holding yourself and others to unrealistically high standards?
Written by two clinical psychologists, The Anxious Perfectionist shines a much-needed light on the hidden costs of “being the best,” and offers essential skills based in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to help you cope with the anxiety that is driven by your perfectionism. You’ll learn how your “need to be perfect” can actually hinder your productivity, and keep you from reaching your goals. You’ll also learn skills to help you gain distance from negative self-talk and criticism, let go of unhelpful and self-limiting labels such as “success” or “failure,” and give yourself and others permission to make mistakes while still honoring your high aspirations.
If you’re struggling with feelings of anxiety and stress, and suspect your perfectionism may be to blame, this guide will show you how to stop getting in the way of your own success, and live a life guided by your deepest values.
Publisher : New Harbinger Publications (March 1 2022)
Language : English
Paperback : 160 pages
ISBN-10 : 1684038456
ISBN-13 : 978-1684038459
Item weight : 1.05 kg
Dimensions : 15.24 x 0.89 x 22.86 cm
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PP –
If your perfectionism is negatively impacting your mental health, this is the book for you!
I am one of those people who saw my perfectionism as a badge of honour, but The Anxious Perfectionist made me finally realize it was perfectionism that was largely responsible for a variety of mental health issues I’ve struggled with over the years. To say I’m glad I stumbled upon this book is an understatement!The Anxious Perfectionist takes you though a set of tools based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), the effectiveness of which has been proven by a range of academic studies and research. It’s a short and concise book (140 pages) and the manner in which it’s written makes using the tools and approaches very accessible.The beginning of the book sets a solid case for how perfectionist tendencies affect our thoughts and behaviours, potentially in negative ways. It was on reading these early chapters that I had a sense of relief wash over me as it was me they were describing in the book. May be if you see yourself as a perfectionist, or have been labelled as one, and you have struggled with things like low mood, low motivation and low self esteem it is you they are describing too.I’ve found the whole book to be useful but the chapters that were most helpful to me were the ones on acknowledging thoughts without surrendering to them, focussing on process over outcome, connecting to your values and self-kindness. All of the approaches are really simple and easy to start using straight away.This book has led me to making appreciable changes for the better in my life so I can’t really give a better endorsement than that. It is a book I know I will keep on hand and probably revisit often.
Always Vacay –
This book is very well written. Truly helps to see a clinical perspective for someone who struggles with the anxiety of control and perfectionism (like myself). I’m a nurse and I highly recommend this book.
harpal brar –
The author emphasis more on other areas then perfectionism
Natalie Nagowski –
I found this book very accessible. The authors have condensed a lot of information and tips in 140 pages. There are prompts for journaling/reflection as well as guided exercises (audio versions of the exercises are available through the publisher’s website). Ong & Twohig apply the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to perfectionism or rather to dealing with perfectionism such that it no longer runs or governs your life.I do not consider myself a perfectionist, although I realize that I am, in this very moment thinking about how to formulate this review, deleting sentences, rewriting them, out of a diffuse fear of others finding this review “bad” (whatever that may mean). This behavior fits with what is described in the book af perfectionist. If you would not label yourself as perfectionist but a) find yourself adhering to rules (self-imposed or other-imposed) quite often and/or b) tend to to things to avoid negative consequences instead of actively seeking positive consequences (e.g. working out to avoid gaining wait vs. working out to stay healthy) this book is definitely worth a read! I also appreciated that the authors included a section on values and perfectionism – living according to your values might just turn into another set of rules thanks to perfectionism. Beware! 😉
Kate –
Concise, to-the-point, and science-informed yet easy to read and digest, which is a hard balance! Helpful for my own self-development and for use with my clients in our sessions.
BG –
The Anxious Perfectionist is a terrific book for both folks to use themselves and clinicians to use with their patients! As a seasoned clinician, I loved learning about perfectionism from an ACT framework, which nicely supplemented my knowledge of addressing perfectionism though a purely CBT lens. I particularly found all of the examples and metaphors to be most useful, and have already used the “spotlight” metaphor with one of my patients, who loved it. The authors also clearly have a great sense of humor, which made reading the book quick and enjoyable. Also, I personally did not procrastinate on writing this review because I remembered that it does not have to be a “perfect” review!